The Trouble With Our Desks
January 18, 2017
Our school has a serious issue on its hands, which if it isn’t solved immediately, could do… well, nothing. However, it still is noteworthy, and so, we’re writing an article about it. So, to begin with, what is the trouble with our desks? Well, I think all of you can answer that. They’re small, can get crowded, and are difficult to get into, especially if you go to the wrong side. However, these problems pale in comparison of another: woe to you if you drop something on the right side of your desk, as, if you’re unlucky and can’t reach the object with your feet, and you don’t have another pen, then you’re in trouble.
This has happened to me and others many, many times, and is a continuing annoyance that simply must be solved. This ‘annoyance’, though, if studied carefully, can reveal an actual problem within the Xavier community. First, though we must understand the true anguish of someone struggling with the problem of a poorly designed desk. All too often, Xavier students are subject to momentary stress caused by the desks, tripping over their bags getting into them, leaning way over the arm rest in a vain attempt to retrieve their paper or writing utensil, and then being forced to get up and walk all the way around the entire row of desks in the middle of a test or lecture, or being distracted from their work by having to concentrate on preventing their books from falling off or covering their paper. For something as trivial as the desk you’re using, this is a lot of aggravation, and can have other far reaching consequences with dire effects for the school.
With this constant distraction relating to our troublesome chairs, the students at our school have been forced to make up for an extra difficulty placed in their path to success, which is an issue that, in our ever more competitive world, needs to be resolved. It is a testimony to the Xavier student’s commitment (well, some of them) that we have maintained standards even with such overwhelming counters to our efforts. Even with hard work, though, no student can be fairly expected to go far and succeed in our world, when his desk just simply will not act in his favor, as all young people going out to find a good job are competing with so many others from other countries. The reason, then, that America is in debt, and that her largest and most successful businesses and job providers are leaving, is because the desks used in our school are poorly designed. Are we really going to let our country, the United States of America, the greatest democracy in the history of our planet, be felled by the fact that you couldn’t reach the paper you dropped during English class? Are we going to fall from the cutting edge of developing scientific advancement and production methods because you lost the pen to copy down that key formula over the precipice of your armrest? Well, since I have seen no efforts to correct this pressing issue, yes, we are. However, I do have some good news for some of you.
Now, while I hope this isn’t the case for you in particular, you may have been having some trouble meeting your parents expectations in getting good grades. Perhaps, no matter how hard you study, you just can’t turn that C+ into a B-, or that test that you thought would give you the A you needed to get into a good college somehow turned out badly, or maybe geometry is turning your hair white from stress. Well, if your parents expressed their displeasure with you the last time your report card came out, now you can tell them the real reason why. I mean, who can expect you to do well in school when you’re suffering from a chronic case of aggravating-armrest-placed-on-your-poorly-designed-desk, that’s obviously impeding your ability to concentrate and do good work. I’m sure that everyone struggling to pass a class would agree that the only reason at all that they’re not getting a perfect A+ is because they just can’t stand the desk they’re forced to use.
So, in conclusion, the trouble with our desks is that, for previously stated reasons, they simply don’t work in a school environments, and seriously impede the students’ learning capability. I’m going to give a little example. In geometry class, I dropped my paper during a quiz, and had to do a series of seat gymnastics to finally retrieve it, completely wrecking my concentration. I didn’t do nearly as well as I would’ve liked on that quiz. Then, during the English final, in which we have some of the desks without armrests in the way, I was able to focus, free of the weight of a completely incorrigibly bad desk design, so naturally, I got an A+. I rest my case.