The Real Reason Xavier High School Closed

The Real Reason Xavier High School Closed
By Aidan Pesce, Assistant Reporter December 10, 2020

Despite what everyone thinks, the global pandemic was not the real reason the school shut down. For all of you returning Xavier students, there was a certain incident last year that occurred during the...

Presidential Wipeout Adventure Course

Presidential Wipeout Adventure Course
By Wyatt McElroy, Assistant Reporter October 26, 2020

Immediately following the second Presidential debate, Donald Trump took to Twitter to challenge Democratic candidate Joe Biden to a ‘Wipeout Adventure Course’ challenge to prove he is the more physically...

How to Effectively Ruin A Student’s Life: A Comprehensive Guide for Teachers

How to Effectively Ruin A Student's Life: A Comprehensive Guide for Teachers
By Aidan Pesce, Assistant Reporter October 22, 2020

Hello! My name is Aidan, and I am a junior here at Xavier High School. I figured that as an upperclassman, I should probably do my job and share some advice, so I will. However, there's a twist: I am here...

North Korea Wins 2020 Olympics

North Korea Wins 2020 Olympics
By Aidan Higgins, Editor-in-Chief September 20, 2020

An exclusive report by the North United Korean Establishment of Media Enterprising (NUKEME) revealed yesterday that North Korean athletes have won every medal awarded by the National Olympic Committee...

How to Get up in the Morning

One of the many negative side-effects of over-sleeping.
By Aidan Higgins, Editor May 31, 2020

If you're anything like me - well, first of all, I'm sorry everything turned out this way. Second of all, you are probably well-acquainted with the psychological turmoil involved with trying to get out...

My Life As An Instagram Influencer

Aidan Higgins, left, and Zac Effron, right
By Aidan Higgins, Editor April 14, 2020

With the administration conducting a social media crusade to increase their online presence and capitalize off of the COVID-19 crisis by permeating the Gospel message throughout the World Wide Web, we...

Trump: A Secret Democrat?

Trump: A Secret Democrat?
By Eric Myskowski, Senior Reporter April 3, 2019

Breaking News: A report just released this morning from Trump’s former campaign advisor Paul Manafort shows Donald Trump is a secret Democrat and was trying to help Hillary Clinton win the 2016 Election On...

Post-Truth Epidemic Grips Nation

Post-Truth Epidemic Grips Nation
By Alexander Pralea, Editor February 13, 2019

According to researchers at the CDC, the apocalypse that thousands of doomsday activists have foretold has finally materialized. The Post-Truth Epidemic is finally here, distorting all notions of normalcy...

How to Get Your Aspiring Five-Year-Old into Harvard:

How to Get Your Aspiring Five-Year-Old into Harvard:
By Alexander Pralea, Editor January 21, 2019

Though people may say that you should let your child into the college decision-making process, only you, the parent, can have a say in his or her future. As you plan every second of the life of your child...

Idiopathic Schoolitis – The Truth Behind the Silent Killer

Idiopathic Schoolitis - The Truth Behind the Silent Killer
By Alexander Pralea, Editor December 18, 2018

 As midterm exams begin to stress out the students of American high schools, some have begun to take steps to campaign for enhanced recognition of idiopathic schoolitis. I spoke with a lead campaigner...

A Mystery in the World of Television

By Alexander Pralea, Editor October 4, 2018

Turn on your TV. Flip through the channels, making sure you get to Hallmark, ABC, and Disney Channel. By then, hopefully, you will have picked up on a freaky pattern: all the teenage girls are wearing...

Mr. Kieda: Xavier’s Secret Fortnite Legend

Mr. Kieda: Xavier's Secret Fortnite Legend
By Kevin Galasso, Editor March 27, 2018

Now unless you have been living under a rock for the past couple of months, you have probably heard of the game Fortnite. The game has been blowing up in popularity thanks to its easy accessibility and...

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