What Sports Are Actually Good For?
February 14, 2017
Coming up in only a few days is one of the biggest sports days on the American calendar, which millions of people throughout the country will celebrate with cook-offs, parties, and, of course watching the Superbowl on TV. Now, since I’m the most skilled, intelligent, talented, industrious and most of all modest writer on our writing team, you might expect that I’m going to write a highly technical account of what I expect to happen during the big game, but no. I’m writing this to tell any of you who may read this what I believe is the true purpose of major sports.
To begin, though, let’s introduce the secondary role: entertainment. Lot’s of people watch sports because they find it fun and interesting, but then again, some are somewhat like me: I can appreciate a good game of soccer or basketball, but personally, I find most other sports somewhat dull… which is where the main reason comes in. Yes, I understand that the real cause is that the school collectively succeeded in fulfilling the ad-drive challenge, but the event for the day off is the Superbowl. However, this day off that we have as a result of the football game does have one caveat: if you like the Patriots, don’t tell your teacher. They all have a strange hatred for our region’s team (that is generalizing, but it was too dangerous to go and ask teachers if they liked the Patriots: given the current trend, one of them might flip out–I advise you to follow suite).
So, what is the purpose of sports? To give us days off? To provide entertainment? No, none of these. What sports are actually good for is to give a day that will save students and provide for the families of anger management specialists: on Monday, all the teachers are going to troop into anger management classes after their favorite team may have lost, giving us students a small chance to survive the week. That is the true reason for major sports in our world today.