Mr. Kieda: Xavier’s Secret Fortnite Legend

Mr. Kieda: Xavier's Secret Fortnite Legend

By Kevin Galasso, Editor

Now unless you have been living under a rock for the past couple of months, you have probably heard of the game Fortnite. The game has been blowing up in popularity thanks to its easy accessibility and collection of hype and rage moments. It has also blown up at Xavier. Everywhere you walk, you hear stories of Victory Royale or tragic failure at Tilted Towers.

Now while you may hear about Fortnite all the time at Xavier, there is one player you never hear about. Only a few people, including myself know about him, but he feels it is finally time to reveal himself to the public. That man is no one else but Mr. Kieda.

Now I know what you’re saying. There is no way. He says he has only played it once or twice. Well that my friends, was all a ploy. The truth is that Mr. Kieda has been playing for a long time. He had recently disclosed to me all his records and the evidence is shocking. Hours and hours of playtime and more wins than you can imagine. In fact, he has enough wins to even rival Ninja in skill at this game.

Now you’re probably wondering, how can I get a match with him. Well, it will take many tries and a whole lot of luck, but I have a surefire way to get into a match with him. You first must have a PC, Xbox One, and PS4. Mr. Kieda has all three and constantly switches between the three. On Monday-Wednesday he is on PC, Thursday-Friday he is on Xbox One, and Saturday-Sunday he is on PS4. Next you must log into Fortnite and start a game at 33 milliseconds after 7:57. One millisecond too early or too late and he will not appear. Once you get into the game and are on the bus, drop down to Loot Lake. He always goes there because everyone hates it and he knows he can get all the loot. Drop down but make sure to drop away from the lake. If you are anywhere on the lake, he will snipe you and your chance is gone.

Now once you are down here it is time to find Mr. Kieda. Depending on the system, he is crouching in a different part of the lake. On the Xbox, he is 20 inches south of the center of the lake. On the PC, he is 30.5 inches northwest of the center of the lake, and On PS4, he is 45.678 inches from the north of the lake. He will be dressed in special blue camouflage, so he will be invisible to the untrained eye.

Once you find the exact coordinates, it is time to tackle him down. You will need five remote explosives, an orange RPG, and a lot of building materials. You start by building up to the top of the map. Then build pathways to the exact coordinates that you have discovered. Once you have reached there follow these next instructions very carefully. Quickly drop all five remote explosives down to the water. Then with a time window of 0.0000000008 seconds, shoot the RPG down following the explosives. This should be enough to leave Mr. Kieda with only one health. Now jump down and pull out the pickaxe, and right before you land on the ground, start swinging. If you are successful, then Mr. Kieda will be defeated, and you will receive everything you need to win the rest of the game. Once you defeat him taunt him with dance emote and he will now know that you are a Xavier student.

Once and only after you win the game, he will send you a message saying this. Congratulations on beating me. Meet me at Room 212 before school and I will give you an A+ for the year for whatever class you want.

So, there you have it. That is how to find and defeat Mr. Kieda in Fortnite. Now while this may seem impossible to achieve, I have seen it done before. If you want to ask someone who has beaten Mr. Kieda in Fortnite, find the Xbox user VariableBog9992 and on his page will be a message from Mr. Kieda saying he has been beaten by this user.

So, Before I end this, I must say to you all, good luck. If you ever find Mr. Kieda in Fortnite and beat him, please inform me and I will make sure that everybody knows that you have beaten the Secret Fortnite Legend, Mr. Kieda.